If You Want to Own a Gun, You Need to Shoot Yourself First

Everyone in America, who wants to own a gun, should experience what it feels like to be shot,” writes D. Watkins of Salon.  He has taken the Chris Rock stand-up to a new and more ludicrous place.

The Bigger and Blacker stand up, Rock quipped (sic), “We don’t need gun control,” Rock pleaded to a packed house, “We need bullet control––if bullets were $5000, people would think before they shot some one! You gotta really p*ss someone off for them to dump $50,000 worth of bullets in to you!”

D. Watkins thinks this is a great idea, but wait, let's get even more creative in our gun control fantasy and add self inflicted gunshot wounds as a requirement.

Law abiding citizens, who desire to get a gun, must shoot themselves so they know how painful it is?  WHAT? Please tell me this is purely satirical!   Alas, it is not; Watkins really believes this will stop mass murders:

“If we could successfully implement this rule, I guarantee the mass shootings will stop. Watching cable news now in days makes me physically ill. Week in and week out we are forced to learn about another coward, who can’t stand to deal with the same rejection that most of us face–– so they strap themselves with guns and then cock and spray at innocent people. Heartbroken survivors and family member images go viral, as our elected officials remain clueless.”

Will this stop mass shootings because all lawful gun owners will be in the hospital recovering?  Do the police also have to follow this guideline?  And do we implement it one cop a month, so as not to damage the police force too radically?  And can we just round up all gun toting, law breaking criminals and shoot them? Or does that qualify as cruel and unusual punishment?

“Is this real life? Is this fantasy? Caught in a landslide, no escape from reality,” seems an appropriate Queen lyric for the Salon's reality.

This is Watkins' fantasy:

“So if you love guns, if they make you feel safe, if you hold and cuddle with them at night, then you need to be shot. You need to feel a bullet rip through your flesh, and if you survive and enjoy the feeling­­––then the right to bear arms will be all yours.

Bullets are extremely hot and they hurt. I saw them paralyze, cut through faces, pierce children and take life. I have friends, relatives and loved ones be gunned down. Guns break apart families and ruin lives. Other than giving a coward the heart to stand tall, what’s the positive part of gun ownership? Other than the people in rural areas who use them to hunt for food, I have only seen them destroy, both in the suburbs and in our inner cities.”

If he was not serious, some may find humor in his argument, yet this man believes what he is writing, passionately, emotively and brainlessly.


Source: Salon



  1. Jerry
  2. Elliott

Leave a Reply

Pin It on Pinterest