Streisand Doubles Down: Trump is Forcing Me to Eat Pancakes

Once again, Barbra Streisand is accusing Donald Trump of “making her fat” by eating pancakes. In a phone interview with The New York Times to promote her new Trump-bashing album, she discussed a wide range of topics, including her promise to move out of the county should Dems not win in the upcoming election.

“I want to sleep nights. If we take the House I’ll be able to sleep a little bit better.”

She meant the House of Representatives, not the Waffle House. Though I’d gladly pay $200 for a ticket to see Streisand saddle up to a Waffle House counter and order a Texas Double Sausage Egg & Cheese Biscuit.

But we digress.

Next, The Times asked Streisand what she’d do if the Democrats don’t win the House.

“Don’t know. I’ve been thinking about, do I want to move to Canada? I don’t know. I’m just so saddened by this thing happening to our country.

“It’s making me fat. I hear what he said now, and I have to go eat pancakes now, and pancakes are very fattening. We make them with healthy flour, though — almond flour, coconut flour.”

“He” is Trump, who has apparently been living rent-free in Streisand’s well-coiffed head since at least Inauguration Day.

The album “Walls,” which will be released Friday, is all but dedicated to The Donald in a nonadmiring way.

“I would lie awake at night with Trump’s outrages running through my head, and I had to do another album for Columbia Records, so I thought, why not make an album about what’s on my mind?” she told The Times. “And that became the title of the first song. I am so grateful to have music in my life as a way to express myself.”

That song is titled “Don’t Lie to Me.”

Speaking of which, didn’t Streisand vow to move to Canada if Trump won in 2016? Of course, if everybody in Hollywood who made that promise had followed through, the Academy Awards could have been held in Scott Baio’s garage.

Streisand did not divulge how much weight she had actually gained on the Trump Diet of almond-floured pancakes.

Below is a video of from 76-year-old Streisand’s new album, Walls.

The album’s first single “Don’t Lie To Me,” is a power ballad that features lyrics so awful they actually read as though they were written by a fist made entirely of ham:

Why can’t you just tell me the truth?
Hard to believe the things you say
Why can’t you feel the tears I cry today?
Cried today, cried today

Later, she cries some more:

Can’t you see I’m crying?
Can’t you see we’re crying?
Where’s the new horizon?
Where’s the new horizon?

The song closes with some more crying:

Can’t you see I’m crying?
Can’t you see we’re crying?
Everyone answers to someone

It looks like The Donald is making Babs cry a lot.

I haven’t listened to the entire album, but it seems safe to assume that in the next track she gnashes her teeth   —  and no, I’m not tired of winning.


Source: Orlando Sentinel, Breitbart

Image: Fortune Conferences


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